When your inner knowing gets dismissed: gaslighting, merging, and the path back to your inner compass
Sometimes, deep down, you just know that something doesn’t feel right — but you no longer trust yourself. Not because you lack intuition, but because it has been ignored too many times. In my sessions, I often meet people who have adapted so much in relationships or situations that they no longer recognise what’s theirs. They doubt their perception and feel like they’ve lost themselves.
It often starts subtly. Someone says, “You misunderstood,” or “You’re overreacting.” You try to explain what you mean, but the other person doesn’t really make space for your experience. Over time, you start to hold back — first in your words, then in your emotions, and eventually even in your intuition. What’s left is confusion. And exhaustion.
Gaslighting: the quiet erosion of your truth
Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation in which the other person consistently undermines your perception or feelings. It can be direct or subtle. Sometimes by outright denying what was said. Other times by accusing you of being too sensitive or dramatic. Or by turning the conversation around until you find yourself constantly defending your own experience.
The result? You start doubting yourself. You begin gathering proof just to be sure you heard things right. You adjust yourself. And you gradually lose trust in your inner compass.
Merging: when your boundaries quietly disappear
Besides gaslighting, many people also experience merging. You lose yourself in the other person. Not because you want to, but because your system believes it’s the only way to stay connected. You often sense what the other person needs before they even ask — and you start living in their energy instead of your own.
This often develops in childhood, in environments where your emotions weren’t welcome, or where love was conditional on being “easy” or “nice.” Merging then becomes a survival strategy to stay included.
What it does to your system
Long-term emotional confusion disrupts your nervous system. You’re often hyper-alert, tired and restless at the same time. You doubt what you feel, question your perspective, and feel nervous about speaking your truth.
Many people tell me they feel like they’re going crazy — but these are actually natural responses to prolonged stress and emotional safety issues. Real healing starts when you begin to realise: it’s not you. What you felt was real. You’re not too sensitive — you’ve just crossed your own boundaries too many times.
A story from practice
In a session, a client shared that she kept thinking she was the one who got things wrong. Her partner would twist conversations, later say he meant something else, and shift the blame back to her. For years, she tried to improve her communication, be more empathic, more understanding. But her body was exhausted, and her self-trust was gone.
During the session, she finally said out loud: “I feel something — and that matters.” That moment marked a turning point. Not a magical fix, but a beginning. Step by step, she started listening to her own perception again. She made space for herself — maybe for the first time in a long while.
How to reconnect with your inner compass
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Pause and feel what’s true for you, regardless of what others say
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Practice setting small boundaries, like: “I need some space right now”
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Understand that you’re not ‘too much’ — you’ve just been dismissed too often
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Strengthen your body awareness: where do you feel a yes, where a no?
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Seek out people who truly receive your feelings without judgment
What you need to know
If you recognise yourself in this story, please know — you are not broken. And you’re not alone. What you feel is not a weakness, but a form of wisdom. Your system has been trying to keep you safe for years, and that takes tremendous energy. Now it’s time to gently return to yourself, one step at a time.
If this blog touches something in you — if you feel like somewhere along the way you lost connection with your own voice — you’re not the only one. Many of the people I work with carry the same questions: How do I know what’s truly mine? How do I sense what’s right? How do I rebuild trust in my own perception?
In our sessions, we take the time to listen — without judgment, pressure or expectations. Together, we follow what your system is already showing: where you’ve adapted too much, where life feels heavy, and where something inside you is ready to return to lightness.
You are warmly welcome for a reading, a therapeutic session or a QHHT journey where we gently explore the path back to your inner compass.
intuition, setting boundaries, gaslighting, merging, inner compass, self-confidence, emotional manipulation, spiritual growth, reading, healing, trauma, codependency, personal development, self-love
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