Why we want everything to be useful – and what happens when we let that go
Many of us live by an invisible rule: everything we do must lead somewhere. Our work should contribute, our hobbies should produce results, our conversations should have purpose. It sounds logical, almost natural. But there’s a shadow side to that rule. Because if everything has to be useful, what’s left of life itself? And who are you, really, beyond that “usefulness”?
The invisible contract of usefulness and worth
Most of us grew up with the idea that we are only valuable if we contribute something. Being kind, performing well, taking care of others, always producing something – it became an unspoken
contract with the world. And that contract quietly follows you, often without you even noticing. You sense it when you struggle to “do nothing,” when you feel uneasy in free time, or when
creativity only feels justified if it leads to a product, a course, or a service. You notice it in that quiet voice that whispers: you only matter when you’re helping or achieving.
Meaninglessness as a threat – and as a key
“Meaningless” moments often feel threatening. Because if something has no purpose, what does that say about you? You can feel it in the resistance toward creative hobbies, in the discomfort of an
unplanned day, or in the guilt that creeps in when you simply “do nothing.” But that’s exactly where the key lies. Because life outside of work – the part where you’re simply a human being –
often begins in that discomfort. It begins where you allow yourself to do something for no reason at all, except that you want to.
Why it’s so hard to start
For someone who’s used to being useful all the time, this feels almost like breaking a sacred rule. Taking a class that leads nowhere? Spending time on something without any “output”? Your whole
system screams: why would I? And yet, that discomfort doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re learning something new. It’s the sign that you’re loosening the old belief that your
worth equals your usefulness.
What happens when you let go of control
When you allow something to be “pointless,” you create space for something you may have lost: playfulness, curiosity, relaxation. It doesn’t have to be big. Draw a picture and throw it away. Go
for a walk without listening to a podcast, without tracking the distance. Learn a language without any plan to ever “do” something with it. In those moments, something shifts: you discover that
you have worth even when you’re not producing, helping, or fixing.
An invitation to start small
You don’t have to dive into a pottery course or wipe your calendar clean overnight. Start small. Do something just because you want to, even if it feels strange. Watch a film in the middle of the
day. Buy flowers for no reason. Take a walk without measuring how far you went. And notice what happens inside you. The resistance, the questions, maybe even a tinge of shame – and beneath all
that: an unexpected softness.
Because right there, in that small bit of “pointlessness,” is where the greatest freedom often hides. It’s the doorway to a life beyond work. A life where you are a human being who exists, even when there’s nothing to prove and nothing to produce.
Would you like to discover how that could feel for you – and what steps could help you create that life? Visit sessions for sessions and guidance that not only support your growth, but help you come home to the part of you that doesn’t need to earn its worth.
Tags: meaninglessness, personal growth, finding meaning, work life balance, spiritual development, life beyond work, letting go of control, self reflection, relaxation, experiencing freedom, conscious choices, healing, self care, new habits, awareness development
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